It is not ladylike to walk and eat or drink at the same time. You learn something new every day. W* is all about molding young ladies of excellence. Or something like that. It’s all a bit vague. But becoming a lady is definitely part of the goal. Last week they were lectured about acting like ladies (my Form 2s – 14 year olds – responded by greeting me for our after lunch lesson as “Lady Bell”, I think they missed the point). In our staff meeting we were reminded to make sure girls do not walk and eat at the same time because “ladies do not do that.” Ladies walk demurely, in silence, from lesson to lesson, not eating.
The same day, in the car on the way home, Angela told me how two girls at her co-ed school down the road almost got into a physical fight—“so unladylike!” she exclaimed with wrinkled nose.
“Why is it unladylike? Why can’t girls fight but boys can?”
I’d like to report that she realised the incongruence of this social more, and we had a mind shaping conversation… but we didn’t.
But really, this lady business distresses me a bit. What is the point? Who decides on what is ladylike and what is not? And why is being ladylike so inconvenient to the lady? And the big one: why can men eat and walk at the same time but women – sorry, ladies – can’t? Delicate constitutions, no doubt. Goodness, it feels like the 1870s sometimes (not that I have a firm grasp of what that decade was like). This lady image is an appealing one to push young girls towards, but what really are we pushing them into? And, why?
Well, fortunately, it’s too late for me to be molded a lady. So I walk down the corridor, and I grab the tea biscuit on my way out of school at 3pm and munch on it as I walk to the car. And I whistle; because I love to whistle. And that's definitely not ladylike.
*I have decided not to refer to my school by name anymore. So from now on it will be referred to as “W” – a random letter that has no connection at all.
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