Feeling full and grateful

I am feeling very full lately. I shouldn’t be. I have piles of marking that keep growing, no matter how much I work on them. Several of my classes are not where I want them to be at this point in the year: mocks (mock examinations) are in four weeks time and there is much to be covered before then. And yet, I feel full.

I am so grateful to be part of students’ lives. I love the act of teaching; I love imparting knowledge; I love introducing students to the joys of English. But I feel ALIVE when there are relationships that flow out of the position I hold as a teacher. Recently, this has been brought home to me in a powerful way.

Last Tuesday I had an Upper Six Literature class for two periods. I had planned a poetry scansion lesson; I had a counseling session. Feeling very overwhelmed and pressured by school and various issues they all just needed someone to listen and I happened to be there.

Following this I’ve had several other one on one conversations with students about problems/questions/worries. Teenagers are often very guarded about who they let into their world. You have to be invited usually and there are rules. I am always so grateful and feel so privileged when I am invited in. On Thursday I posted a “De-stress with Miss Bell after lunch open to all the Upper Sixes” notice on their board on a little post-it note. I didn’t expect many, if any, to give up their “rest” before afternoon lessons but about a third of the year group arrived. I had planned to make origami butterflies but they just wanted someone to listen to them.

I am not happy they are struggling with so much at the moment but I’ve realized that it takes something like this to open a door that is sometimes carefully locked. And perhaps I’ve realized too that maybe I just think the door is locked. Maybe it’s just closed and waiting for someone to knock, or simply to open it. Maybe we’d all be invited into the lives of young people much more readily than we think if we just walked in and showed up, ready to accept whatever is on the inside.

Either way, right now, I’m blessed and privileged and so full to be here.