I secretly wrote a poem for the schools Allied Arts competition (I assure you I didn't cheat and enter a high school competition - the Sixth Form category is an "Open" section as well.) And I won the category. Impressive? - not really - my competition was mostly high schoolers (I felt like an impostor at the prize giving sitting with all the cute Grade one and dignified Form Four winners - it made me reconsider ever entering again!). But I thought I would share it as, though highly personal, it is now public.
From Segregation to Integration: a History of Africa
Accounts--Permanent
Residents—TEP—Students
The signs
divide us deftly:
Four rows that
ebb and wane
Like a tide
not sure if it’s coming or going.
We shuffle
forward, mute, dumb.
Mindlessly
drawn closer and closer,
Packed, desperate,
like cattle to be dipped:
The dirty
white walls suck our humanity.
We are the
same here:
Powerless.
The fate of
our state in this place
In the hands
that hold the stamps
that give
recognition, permission,
Connection.
In the
Permanent Resident line I stand behind
A Chinese man
A black woman
Two black men
What history
ties them here,
Leaves them,
like me, with
“ALIEN” in
bold blue block-letters on their IDs?
At the front
of the TEP queue
a European –
(the real kind, from Europe) –
argues: “I
brought it last week. They told me not to worry about the stamp.”
A black woman
comes up behind me:
“I’m behind
you.”
She joins the
student queue.
Mr Patel is
called to the front
He leaves,
stamped papers in hand,
Satisfaction
on his brown face.
The cheerful
guard escorts a lady and her baby to the front.
Explanations
to the next in line:
(slightly
ironic) respect for a mother.
An American
(here long
enough to ignore “No cellphone” signs
and need
another stamp)
is in the TEP
queue beside me.
I can feel him
Trying to make
eye contact,
Stretching to
touch in this sea
of wearying
bureaucracy,
Looking for
recognition, solidarity,
Connection.
I ignore him.
Our only
connection
The colour of
our skin
I’m not like
him – a foreigner, different--
I’m
Zimbabwean, local.
These are my
people: we are the same here.
Connection
with him will mark me,
Set me apart,
make me different.
I avoid his
eyes.
The new
constitution
says I can
vote now,
Apply for
citizenship,
For the word
ALIEN to be replaced,
For paper
proof of the 27-year allegiance of my heart.
They’re saying you’ll never survive
the process.
These are not
my people.
I do not
belong.
We are not the
same.
Leave without
my stamp, I can be refused re-entry.
Just red tape/They’ll never really do it/Not even legal, they say.
But they come
back every year for their recognition-giving stamp.
I make eye
contact with the American. Smile.
Exchange resigned,
connecting shrugs.
The truth
hurts, but
We are the
same.
Both asking
for recognition, permission
Connection.
“Welcome to
Zimbabwe, friend.
Apartheid is
dead.
Segregation
reigns supreme.”
Rebekah Bell
July 2013
I love this!
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